


College Boys

by sinamour



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:25:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3810334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinamour/pseuds/sinamour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack fic about Tetsuya being initiated into one of the joys of tertiary education.</p>
            </blockquote>





	College Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Rarepair Battle 2015.

By the time Tetsuya realises what is happening to him, he is already half an hour too late – body a degree too warm – hands buried a little too deep into his pants –

But he regrets nothing.

-

When Tetsuya had entered university, he had expected nothing beyond serious lectures, intense discussions, and perhaps some thought-provoking revelation that will lead him to discoveries that (won’t gain him significant fame – Kuroko is not as air-headed as that – but perhaps) grant him enough attention for the publication of some of his papers in noteworthy journals. This idea of university as an intellectual paradise was something that he had inherited from his neighbour friend, also surrogate big brother.

Shintarou, three years Tetsuya’s senior and sixteen years into ’babysitting’ him, had been especially stern with his final words before sending the new college boy into his freshman days: _There is nothing more glorious than discovering wells upon wells of wisdom in your discourse with the brainiest of your subject, and you should take full advantage of it without wasting any time – do you understand?_

Tetsuya, while admittedly wet behind the ears, is not completely stupid; he knew that while Shintarou had nothing but good intention in his warnings, the man can sometimes have a lopsided view of reality, skewed enough to warrant a second, third, and maybe fourth opinion before you took it as truth.

After all, university years isn’t called the honeymoon period for no reason.

Thank god for Kazunari, then, Tetsuya sometimes think. Shintarou’s destined half – also _better_ half, Tetsuya adds – Kazunari is a direct counter to the other man’s idiosyncratic counsel, and he likes Tetsuya well enough to take him aside after each Shin-chan-advice session to tell him about the more raucous side of Japan’s tertiary education.

And that’s why, when Tetsuya is introduced to the likes of Akashi Seijuurou, Aomine Daiki, Murasakibara Atsushi, or even Kise Ryouta, he isn’t surprised in the least.

But regrettably, no one had warned him about characters like Mayuzumi Chihiro –

And that’s why Tetsuya falls head-over-heels in love with him.

-

As Tetsuya’s assigned au pair senior and roommate in the university hostel – courtesy of a bastardised version of the Western buddy system – it doesn’t take Tetsuya long to discover certain things about the older boy. He’s cynical, sarcastic, obsessed with light novels and chocolate milkshakes, and rude to the point of disrespect – and yet Tetsuya sees only the silver lining in all the severity that his roommate tosses at him.

“He’s been nothing but an asshole to you, Tetsu, I don’t understand why you’re still tagging along with him,” Aomine comments, Kise nodding agitatedly from the side.

It’s hard for Tetsuya to explain to his friends why because even he doesn’t know the reasons, but at least he finds understanding and acceptance in Seijuurou, who smiles and nods and tells him that, “It’s Chihiro’s ponytail-tugging phase. Be patient.”

And so life continues for Tetsuya as it has until then – it starts with Chihiro dragging him out of bed by the leg, flattening his horrible bedhead for him; continues with Chihiro sneaking light novels into his bag and locker during lunch time; and then with Chihiro rebuking him for his bad taste in basketball during dinner, and ends with Chihiro squashing him into blankets and bed at the end of the day.

Nothing strange there. At all.

Until tonight, that is.

-

If someone must be blamed for tonight, then it has to be Seijuurou. He was the one who approached Tetsuya with the idea, eyes glinting, thrilled. “It could be a chance for you to get Chihiro stoned enough to find out what he thinks about you,” he proposed, “and Daiki and the rest of us will be there too.”

If Tetsuya weren’t so blinded by the temptation to find out, properly, what Chihiro thinks about him, he would have paused to question Seijuurou’s (unexpected lapse in) sanity. After all, nightclubs, pubs, and alcohol had never really been of interest to his friend and him. As it stood, though, neither of them were in their right minds (apparently), and that was how the mess had started.

No one knew, not even Tetsuya, how he managed to get Chihiro to accept his invitation (actually, Tetsuya does because it involved a lot of lip exercise on his part) but they eventually end up at a corner table, sloshing it out in an overly bright, overly loud, hippie wannabe club.

“Is this the life, or is this _the_ life,” Daiki snickers from his right, gripping his pint of beer with both hands as if the world will tip over if he releases it - and maybe that isn't all that far away from the truth. He is on his eighth pint, after all.

Two seats away, Ryouta has downed enough shots to turn him into a philospher, gushing wholeheartedly and emphatically into Seijuurou's ear. Except Seijuurou isn't really paying attention, if his waned expression is anything to go by. Instead, he is picking out cherries to feed to a sloth-like Atsushi, sprawled out half over the chair and half on the floor.

Tetsuya is also pretty sure that there is an intense game of footsie going under the table – there has to be an explanation for the way the table is shuddering nonstop like that, and Tetsuya isn't willing to accept supernatural reasons as valid – except he doesn't know who is playing who.

“Wow, is this what I'm here for - to watch little boys get wasted?” Chihiro complains from the other side of him, and nearly slams his own beer into his face when Satsuki suddenly topples over from behind their lounge chair into his lap.

“Jesus-fucking-Christ, can you even –”

“Saaatsuki!” Daiki hollers from his seat and laughs at the way his childhood (only because Daiki is shy about admitting their relationship) friend is giggling her head off. Tetsuya laughs into his own drink (“Beer for me, apple punch for this stupid idiot here because I'm so not caring for these wasted bastards on my own,” Chihiro had declared early in the night) because under normal circumstances, Daiki would have gone all green-eyed monster on them.

“Dai-chan!” Satsuki's voice is two pitches higher than usual, and she flips over with an agility that belongs usually to Daiki. “Come dance with me!”

And that's where things start to go downhill (or uphill, depending on how you look at it) for Tetsuya. If he'd known what would happen next, he would have - for once - begged for Daiki to stay and not leave his spot.

-

The moment Daiki takes his girlfriend to the dancefloor amidst wolf whistles, Tetsuya finds himself pressed against the shadiest shady character in the worldwide history of shady characters, slipping in to take his friend's vacated seat.

“Um, excuse me, that seat is take-”

“Aww come on, baby boy, don't sweat the little details like that,” the newcomer grins. He's pale, Tetsuya can see that even in the blinking glares of the strobe light, and there is a sharpness embedded in the corner of his grin. “We're all just here to have fun, yeah? So let loose and let live!”

And before Tetsuya can even protest being referred to as baby boy, the newcomer is already pressing forward, gripping Tetsuya's wrists, and slipping his tongue into his mouth the way an invader sneaks into a place not his. He’s fast, and the foreign tongue that slicks across Tetsuya’s own leaves an alien aftertaste that he can’t decide is sweet or pungent.

But the left hook that comes right after is even faster, and the newcomer finds himself flat on his back, giggling up at the ceiling.

Tetsuya, on the other hand, finds himself pressed up against a furious heartbeat, wide-eyed, panting, shocked; and there is an angry, possessive growl that sounds horribly similar to Chihiro’s voice.

“Fuck off to the other fucking end of the fucking world before I break your fucking dick, you fucking bastard.” Tetsuya has never heard his senior express himself so coherently in so filthy a language before.

Across from them, Ryouta and Seijuurou look on with the mildest look of interest on their face, as if Tetsuya being harassed is not so different from Daiki making a fool out of himself on the dance floor.

“Oooh, protective,” the stranger laughs instead, picking himself up and sashaying left and right before he turns around, clearly about to leave. He doesn’t even bother wiping the blood trickling down the corner of his lips before he sneers at Tetsuya. “I’ll be in the bathroom in the next half an hour, yeah? Third stall from the right. Knock twice, meow once, and I’ll let you in.”

Chihiro sneers back. “You can go to hell, and fuck yourself.”

“Sure I can,” the other man laughs, and leaves just like that.

“Well, that was interesting,” Ryouta comments after a while, and then turns back to Seijuurou to challenge him to Freudian and Kantian debates. Chihiro, on the other hand, leans forward and picks up his beer to shove into Tetsuya’s face (still tucked into his sides). “Drink that and wash out his disgusting trace from your mouth.”

“Ah… the punch will work just as well though…”

“Just drink the goddamn beer,” Chihiro snaps back, and grabs the back of Tetsuya’s head to tilt it and pour beer into his mouth. He doesn’t tell the boy that he’d properly positioned Tetsuya’s mouth to fit against the space where his own had been while he was drinking from the cup.

“He seems pretty confident, though,” Tetsuya remarks after he’s done coughing and snorting gas from his nose, letting Chihiro wipe his face for him, “almost like he’s sure I’ll go to him. I wonder why.”

And he finds out why half an hour later, because –

-

By the time Tetsuya realises what is happening to him, he is already half an hour too late – body a degree too warm – hands buried a little too deep into his pants.

-

“What the fuck are you doing,” Chihiro doesn’t even bother asking, taking a leave out of Seijuurou’s book when Tetsuya begins fidgeting in his seat, squirming from side to side.

“It’s…” Tetsuya’s voice comes out breathless, “I can’t help it, but it’s uncomfortable and horribly warm – and –” And his voice breaks off then, his body jerking back to fall against the back of their seat.

“Are you allergic to beer or something?” Chihiro frowns because he’s never heard of anyone being allergic to alcohol before, but when Tetsuya begins to curl to the side and push his hands between his legs, he is forced to sit up and take more notice of the situation. “Oy. What the hell is going on?”

Tetsuya moans back in reply, and curls tighter into himself. It takes Chihiro another flash of the strobe light to see that he’s flushed, and by then, Tetsuya’s writhing and gasping for breath like he’s got trouble bringing air into his lungs. Chihiro’s first thought is that Tetsuya’s suffering from an asthma attack, but when he turns the boy around and sees the bulge in his pants, he draws back in disbelief and realisation has never hit him so fast or so hard before.

“Motherfucking bastard!” he curses, and there is no hesitation in his movement when he bends down to pick his roommate into his arms because – ‘ey, this is a goddamn emergency!

“Fucker destroyed my entire plan,” he grumbles as sidesteps the mess that is Atsushi – now completely wiping the floor with his face – and struggles out from a mass of jiggling bodies to emerge outside the bathroom. He pushes the door open, just in time to catch their perpetrator opening the door of his toilet stall, and scowled at the leering grin.

“Awww, sending him to me yourself?”

 “Do you even know how to count, you asshole? Yours is the fourth stall from the right.”

“But of course, I’m handsome and – wait wha –?”

“By the way, just so you know, this was not how I imagined taking the idiot to bed for the first time, goddamnit,” Chihiro snaps, heaving Tetsuya like a sack of heavy potatoes and crossing over to stall #3 from the right, slinks in, and then stares back out with the severest look that he could muster.

“Every person deserves at least the bed for his or her first time, okay. It’s basic courtesy if you’re going to screw someone – get that into your head, douchebag. Now thanks to you, I have to make it back to him later. Such a pain in my ass.”

And with that, he promptly slams the door in the bastard’s face, and proceeds to give Tetsuya some pain in _his_ ass.


End file.
